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Stop Dating a Married Man

You decided to get into a fling with a guy who you knew was married before you started going out with him but all of the sudden you are starting to fall for him. He seems like the perfect guy for you and the fling is now turning into an affair. So how can you stop it before it gets out of hand?

 


First, why are you even dating a married man? Just think about how immoral it is to date someone else’s husband. Would you want your husband to be out dating single girls? Probably not, right? Let’s say he does leave his wife for you, could you really live with the guilt that you caused a marriage to fall apart? What makes you think he won’t do the same to you once you and him start getting involved in a relationship? There are no good reasons to be dating a married man, but if you have already started and are now convinced it is wrong, here is how to stop it.

It might be a bit harder if you see him everyday, but the first thing to do is avoid him. Avoid his calls and messages and show a lack of interest. These will keep him away and you will give the message that you are not interested anymore. If he does question you why you aren’t interested anymore, have reasons prepared to tell him. You need to control your feelings and emotions and be strong to just tell him that dating him is just wrong and remind him about his wife.

That being said, a great way to keep him off of you is to keep bringing up his wife and family. Let him start feeling guilty of what he is doing and he can be reminded about the huge risks he is taking about losing his family. Speak your mind to him and let him also agree with you. This should be a mutual breakup so he also is aware that having an affair is wrong. You can’t really change a person but you can at least separate yourself from any immoral acts being committed by an unfaithful married man.

Have you ever been in an affair with a married man? If you are a married man, have you ever had an affair or had thoughts about getting in an affair? Do you agree that dating a married man is immoral and a horrific act or do you think couples need to just relax and have an open relationship sometimes just to get it out of their system to have a healthier relationship? This is a nice debatable topic so participate below in our comments section!

nov 11, 2011 | Comment (48)

Discuss

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Grey Hilton, 35 Jul 7, 2011
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I found a good job 11 months ago which I'm still working in. I found my supervisor very nice and everyone loves him because he's kind with employers. By time confidence came between us...really I don't know how!..I never liked him but by time we started loving each other and dating. He really loves me and he's jealous of me. He will do everything for me and I haven't a doubt about this. I really love him too. What shall I do? I come from a good family..If my mum knows she would kill me. Please tell me what should I do. I told him a million times to stop but he seems he cannot accept it He tells me 'someday I'm sure you'll be mine'. I cannot live without him and even he cannot. I'm not a bad girl and I don't really know how I entered into this big problem and I don't know how to stop this thing. It's not easy here in Malta to find another job and a good wage that I have. Please help mee! Thank you

10 replies | Hide
Tattiemorattie, 28 Jul 7, 2011
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You are young and naive and this child molester creep has taken advantage of you, is lying to and betraying his wife, is setting his children up to be broken-hearted and crushed spirits. He is scum. Plain and simple. Stop having sex with a married man. I'm not judging YOU, I'm judging HIM - he made a vow to his wife, and has broken that promise to her. He will cheat on YOU as well. Open your eyes and see this dirtbag for the dirtbag that he is.

9 replies | Hide
Cameron, 36 Jul 7, 2011
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You could start by finding another job and praying that when the karma train comes around ti doesn't hit you too bad. Hopefully everyone at your work finds out and it soils your reputation as well as his. Hopefully his wife is a nice lady and doesn't go psycho on you (which she very well could). You and he deserve eachother. You both have the morals of an alley cat.

8 replies | Hide
Hancock, 30 Jul 7, 2011
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Enjoy it while you can, and keep it secretive. But in a while make sure that you end it, because your life will be really messy if you end up going all the way - beyond your belief, and when this happens the relationship will look very unappealing to you.

7 replies | Hide
Gomez, 34 Jul 7, 2011
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Tell him words are meaningless and that actions speak louder then words. Tell him you have to distance yourself because you feel like you love him and you could never be his so you can't allow your heart to bleed everytime he goes home to be with his wife. Then do your job and if he really loves you he will chase you down, but don't give into him. Repeat the above, and hopefully for his wifes sake he will leave her since his a cheater and you will either see you meant nothing to him and you were just like every other girl or he'll marry you. But stop allowing yourself from being used because your wasting so much energy in a relationship that is going no where except the bedroom.

6 replies | Hide
Kemol Clue, 36 Jul 7, 2011
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1. You can't date a married man. He's already taken. 2. You have fallen prey to the 'player'. And still don't get it. 3. If you stopped it immediately, he would find someone else immediately (that is part of the game). 4. If he loves you so much, he would divorce his wife to be with you. 5. I'm not saying you are a bad person, I'm saying you got played. Its a game to him, honey and he knows how to play it well. 6. The next time he goes in for a kiss I want you to think about his wife and how you would feel if you were married to him and some bimbo at work had the hots for him - you'd be up in that office with a broom stick ready to beat someone . . .think about it

5 replies | Hide
Jillypattinson, 29 Jul 7, 2011
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So you are considering contributing to the break-up of a marriage. Of course you know your mother is right. If you really want him to stop you simply tell him "Sir you are a married man and I will not be involved in any way in the breakup of your marriage". Now do your work like a good employee should and respect your boss for the quality of supervisor he is. Remember that if you go for this do not complain when in three years a nice new employee drags you boyfriend/husband/supervisor away from you.

4 replies | Hide
Prac Jill, 26 Jul 7, 2011
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It will never end well, it is best to say no and stick to what you have said. If he loved you so much why is he still with his wife? I am sure he has told you of many things that are not right in his marriage etc etc etc but still he is with her? Or is he staying for the children?? But when they find out it will be worse than if he has just got divorced in the first place instead of having an affiar????

3 replies | Hide
Alda, 29 Jul 7, 2011
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he is more than likely just using you...don't you know that married men more than likely wont leave his wife...have some kind of self respect and find a new job and break it off with him...if the job means so much to you than just break it off with him and stick to it...don't you feel his wife and family deserve that and don't you think that you deserve a man that doesn't go home to another woman...i couldn't live with myself knowing that a man i really like sleep with some other woman and just uses me when he can and wants too...

2 replies | Hide
Fidel, 36 Jul 7, 2011
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Break it off before its too late. Believe me, you are better in bed than his wife. He may not want to break his marriage, but he is falling for you physically. That translates into emotionally, because you understand him and you like him, Believe me when i say, if you continue, this will blow up in all three of your faces, and there will be many problems to resolve. You are better off dropping it now, and letting him settle back with his wife.

1 reply | Hide
Angelagrahamii, 19 Jul 7, 2011
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What did you expect from these people who reply to your comments? Did you think they will be happy for you? Many people are scared for their fake comfort and live in a nutshell of their dead relationships. They need something to support them and protect them and they invented some moral rules. But no rules make people happy. Feelings do. Rules don't. Don't listen to these people, listen to your heart instead. Your boyfriend wouldn't fall into you if he loved his wife so their relationships are already dead - you have nothing to destroy and nothing to be guilty for.

Alisa Nagel, 19 Aug 6, 2011
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People are mostly mistaken. Women's jealousy does not mean any love, so what is your concern about how many wifes man has? It is not your responsibility. Be proud with your own love. And leave it to him, if you consider him as a real man, who can solve a problem. And if you think he is not that type of man, then, do you need such a weak man even he is a bachelor?

Adam Johnson, 36 Aug 6, 2011
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All this people concern about the reaction of the wife. Did anybody ask she? May be she is not against the second wife... One thing is really bad. You should not hide, you can't. So once you have to decide: to continue openly your relations, or stop it forever.

Nadir Donovan, 26 Nov 11, 2011
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Dating a married person is wrong regardless the situation and if he doesnt want to get married he should pay the cost and get a divorce. You should have more self respect for yourself and realize that if he will cheat on his wife then he will do just the same with you seeing that you and he hooked up without regard to his spouse. Take your losses and move on to someone who doesnt have ties to someone else. I guarantee you will feel better and wont have to look to Yahoo Answers for advice.

Deborah, 34 Nov 11, 2011
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Just like a lot of men, many women crave sex. As a result, when some women meet a man that they have an undeniable sexual attraction to, they rush forward and pounce.

3 replies | Hide
Peter, 32 Nov 11, 2011
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Although it's not always admitted to, this is one reason why some women just can't let a married man go. They love the sex and, as a result, refuse to end the relationship.

2 replies | Hide
Jillypattinson, 29 Nov 11, 2011
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Have you ever heard the saying 'what you don't know won't hurt you?' This is a statement that some females who play the role of the other woman live by.

1 reply | Hide
Peter, 32 Nov 11, 2011
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They feel that as long as nobody knows (especially the wife) what they're doing, it's okay. As a result, this woman will never stop seeing the married man until things blow up.

Palila, 33 Nov 11, 2011
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I have been dating a married man for the last 5 years. I met him at work which started off as friends. He would console in me with his problems at home and his marriage. One thing lead to another and we both fell for each other. He has been married for 20 something years and has 4 children. I have known from the begining when we were friends of the truth concerning his marital problems. He says their relationship feels more of a business of raising children and there is no more love. He says he has been staying in the relationship for the kids because he did not have a father figure growing up. His children are teenagers and two are now in college. His other half is aware of me and has even knocked on my front door. She refuses to kick him out because of the financial stability and their children. Over the last year I have tried to end it with him because I am fed up with the living situation. I want him all for myself. We spend most of our days off together, the evening, but he goes home at night to sleep there. His children are not stupid and Im sure they know what is going on. She has even told them he has a girlfriend. Usually when I try to break it off I end up taking him back within a few days. We are separated again and I am not sure what I want now. I have asked him what is he waiting for in regards to leaving his home and he replies that he does not know. He says he does not want to hurt his children and be hated by them. He says its not in fear of her taking money from him. We are honestly in love with each other, but dont want to feel guilty if it doesnt work out between us if he decides to leave. I do not know why he has not left because he says he is not happy at home and is only their for the kids. I truly love the man, but sometimes I wonder what else could be out there for me and if I am missing out. Im not sure what to do. Some days I feel as if I want to spend the rest of my life with him even if he does leave home, but some days I feel like straying and seeking new relationships. I think because he has not left yet, it is turning me off and putting a negative hurt on my end as far as the relationship. He keeps telling me its going to happen and for me to please be patient. What should I do?

2 replies | Hide
Brendoncarrey, 35 Nov 11, 2011
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Hey, Caroline! Go look in a mirror, and then you'll know what a foolish woman looks like. He will never leave her. He can't just say that, because he likes having regular access to your vagina, so he says what you want to hear, until you get fed up and break up ... but since you always take him back, that's how he's using you. The nanosecond that you first first first found out that he was married, THAT is when you should have shut the door on him both physically and mentally. Only a foolish woman expects a married man with a home, a wife and children to leave them ... for her. WHAT makes you think you're so special, that he won't cheat ON YOU, TOO? That's what his WIFE thought ("ohh, my husband would never cheat on me ..."), so now you're all wrapped up in A CHEATER.

1 reply | Hide
Rachel, 24 Nov 11, 2011
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obvioulsy you should have known he was married so maybe you shouldnt have stayed with him for 5 years. get over him he has a family your his second oppsion....or tell the wife your self and then hes all your unless he hates you for telling her then that sucks.

Lacin Gulliver, 23 Nov 11, 2011
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Most women who begin dating married men know right at the beginning that they are playing with fire. It's NOT just fun and games... The matter becomes serious enough to split a family and mangle the minds of growing children.

1 reply | Hide
Sandyperry23, 29 Nov 11, 2011
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There are many men out there who think with the wrong end of their bodies. He may be in it for fun, excitement, change or sheer variety.

Memis Jaring, 29 Nov 11, 2011
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He is NOT AVAILABLE on all the important days - like Valentine's, his birthday (his wife is cooking his favorite roast chicken), New Year's and Christmas.

4 replies | Hide
Prince6688, 36 Nov 11, 2011
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You get left out in the cold on all the days you should be enjoying.

3 replies | Hide
Tammy, 31 Nov 11, 2011
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He cannot speak to you on the phone when you need to contact him. He cannot offer any kind of protection or help.

2 replies | Hide
Murad Sinclair, 25 Nov 11, 2011
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Dating married men is a calculated risk that many women willingly take.They believe that one day the guy will love them enough to leave his wife and kids. But if he does that, you know what society will call you.

1 reply | Hide
Alex, 36 Nov 11, 2011
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Traditionally such women have been drawn in black. A man lives with his spouse for umpteen numbers of years, and suddenly when he sees a spark of interest in somebody's eyes, his libido gets supercharged.He remembers all those romantic fantasies and wants one more chance to live them out. Or maybe he feels that his wife is not good enough in other ways.

Daniel, 34 Nov 11, 2011
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Some women barter sex for money. This exchange is as old as the bible. As a result, if a man has a lot of cash that he's willing to spend on her, the other woman will go for it without any regret. It's not that she want's to hurt anyone or even be the other woman, she just needs help paying her bills.

Catherine, 32 Nov 11, 2011
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You'd think that a woman who thinks so lowly of all men wouldn't wind up in a dirty affair. However, this idea is wrong. Because she thinks all men are dogs, she expects very little from them - including faithfulness. So it seems natural to her that a married man would cheat since that's what all men do anyway. If you ask her about the wife, nine times out of ten she'll tell you about the number of times she's been cheated on by a man. It's her justification for her actions.

Terri, 25 Nov 11, 2011
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Dating married men is dangerous, because if (and there's no guaranteeing this) they leave that family for you, well, the next time they meet a lovely single woman, what's to stop them from leaving the present girl?

3 replies | Hide
Jilly Pattins, 33 Nov 11, 2011
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Even if the guy is loyal, you will end up being the super sleuth, always on the lookout for the other woman.

2 replies | Hide
Nchandra, 30 Nov 11, 2011
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He's in a tight spot; let him work things out with his family. If you push too much, something is bound to break. Don't allow him to use you physically and then do his vanishing act. Once the cat is out of the bag, be there for him.

1 reply | Hide
Mo Kent Blues, 36 Nov 11, 2011
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If he has kids, he will be really torn. Try to get to know his children (this is easier if the children are small, and doesn't matter too much if they are already adults). Try to act as close to normal as possible. And PRAY! (because there's nothing more you can do)

Ibadulla Reynolds, 34 Nov 11, 2011
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He is married: What you are getting into would be labeled an ‘extra marital affair’ by people. Would you like to be a part of this extra marital affair? Think!

2 replies | Hide
Kamale Jelina, 23 Nov 11, 2011
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Ethically wrong: Not necessarily you will break the relation between your man and his wife, but you would surely add fire to break the bond. There might be a case that the relation is already on the verge of breaking, but still who knows, the man will make a rebound to his wife and leave you. If you are responsible for breaking the relation, it would make you guilty at some point or the other in the future.

1 reply | Hide
Deborah, 34 Nov 11, 2011
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Can torture you emotionally: Though you are just in the dating phase, after sometime, there is a chance that you will get emotionally involved with the man. But he being married, the probability of him leaving his wife is ‘minimal’.

Caytee, 24 Nov 11, 2011
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He cannot be trusted: Two of you are in an extra marital affair, which means, he is cheating on his wife. Which also means that he is a bad guy. The relation thus, has no future, as the man is just looking for a fling.

Nahide Jerkins, 29 Nov 11, 2011
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General lack of interest: Avoid him, his calls and messages. In short, show a general lack of interest! He would keep pestering you for some days, but eventually would be pissed and understand that you not interested in him.

4 replies | Hide
Freda, 28 Nov 11, 2011
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Keep the reasons in mind: The more you feel tempted to date him, the more you should remind yourself of the reasons mentioned above. Control your feelings and urge, to ensure a happy and safe future.

3 replies | Hide
Gabriel, 36 Nov 11, 2011
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Show you are busy: Refuse going out with him if he asks you for a date, and tell him that you are busy and not willing to go out. If you are feeling lonely, hang out with your friends and relatives.

2 replies | Hide
John Bercovich, 26 Nov 11, 2011
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Speak your mind to him: Now that you are aware of the dangers of dating a married man, you need to back out. Meet him for one last time, and convey all your apprehensions. This would be like a mutual breakup. Don’t give in to his coaxing and cajoling, and be firm with your decision.

1 reply | Hide
Editor Joe, 36 Nov 11, 2011
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Set your preferences: No one would like to get into a relationship just for the sake for it. There are always some expectations, and planning for the future. Think about the kind of guy you would want as a life partner. Though this guy is all good looking and lovable, you need to stop dating him, as he is married. Remind yourself that a better person is waiting for you, the one you will get married to.

Jannet, 31 Nov 11, 2011
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There is no doubt about the fact that for plenty of women, dating a married man can be quite an emotional experience. Irrespective of whether you have just started dating him or doing it for an year or so, you are going to face difficulty in finishing a relationship with a married man.

3 replies | Hide
Sweety, 31 Nov 11, 2011
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women who date married men suffer from emotional abandonment issues during childhood days. It is worthwhile pointing out that ending a relationship with a married man has lot more factors attached with it.

2 replies | Hide
Susan, 30 Nov 11, 2011
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If you want to stop dating a married man, it is advisable that you look out for an excellent therapist that knows fully well the natures of women that are addictive. It includes dating men who are emotionally not available.

1 reply | Hide
Nyctim, 36 Nov 11, 2011
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There is a strong possibility that your motivation level is going to be quite high when dealing with married men. When interacting with therapist, keep in mind that you are talking about your emotions, not his.

Asktori, 29 Nov 25, 2011
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.Just remember the married person is missing something in their relationship.You are being used big time for what they are missing..It's a huge waste of your time to involve yourself with their problem.Once they get their relationship back on track you'll be out in the cold quick.So just expect it'll be a matter of time before you get the boot.They Rarely leave their spouce because that's their secuity and comfort zone.You're just a part time lover.And that's all it'll ever amount to.If you get caught ,that's going to be disaster for you.What would you want to do to the guy doing your wife? That's right ,so just walk away while you still have your health.

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