You might think that your relationship with your spouse is doing well simply because you are not having any occasional fights like most couples do. But the question is this - Do you think you and your partner is still happy with your marriage? Perhaps, you feel jaded about your boring relationship now, so here are the most effective ways to bring back the spice back in your married life.
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The effort involved with deepening the connection between the couple can be enjoyed by both husband and wife (or significant other), thus developing a close intimate bond unlike any other kind of relationship.
If you are truly committed to making your marriage strong and healthy, with a bit of creativity and effort on the part of both husband and wife, romance can become second nature to you. Begin each day with the question, “What can I do today to show my husband/wife how much I love him/her?”
Grooming It seems rather silly to me to have to point out what should be very obvious, but you would be surprised how many people have mentioned basic grooming habits being a problem in their relationship.
Brush or comb your hair, brush your teeth, take a bath or shower every day, put on some makeup, get rid of those old nasty sweats and put on an outfit that shows that you care about your appearance. You know that old, worn out “favorite” shirt you’ve been hanging onto for years? Get rid of it!
There isn’t much that can diminish the romantic feelings between husband and wife than to see your spouse looking frumpy and disheveled. Ladies, put your hair up in a nice clip instead of a “scrunchy”, or take the time to curl your hair and make yourself look nice for your husband. Get rid of the granny panties and wear some underwear that is attractive and sexy for your man.
Men, your wife is not likely to find you very appealing in those old, tattered sweats that you claim are so “comfortable”. Taking care of yourself and your body, losing those extra twenty pounds (or more) around your mid-section, will not only improve your health but will also increase your energy and sexual appeal.
Physical Touch Begin each day by physically touching your spouse with hugs and kisses. Hold hands while sharing a cup of coffee or tea together; place your hand on your spouse’ leg while sitting together watching the morning news; gently caress your spouse’ face and say “You’re so beautiful, I love you”.
Physical touch is very important in creating romantic atmosphere in the home, so when you arrive home from work be sure to hug and kiss your spouse, and continue physically touching each other throughout the evening.
A common problem in many marriages is where there is virtually no physical touch throughout the day and evening, but as soon as the kids are put to bed and the couple retires to the bedroom, there is an expectation that hot, sizzling sex is going to miraculously heat up the bedroom.
Listen Pay close attention to subtle hints and comments about something your husband or wife wants to buy for themselves, and purchase it for them as a surprise. It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, but if your wife sees a purse she likes or a set of earrings she wants, make note of it and stop by the store and pick it up for her. If
If your husband mentions wanting a new tool for his toolbox, or mentions wanting a new gadget of some kind, take the time to go buy it for him as a “just because” gift. Pay close attention to clues for birthday, holiday or anniversary gift ideas, making a point to write them down so you won’t forget and end up struggling to find a gift your spouse really wants.
Has your partner mentioned a concert or sporting event they have interest in attending? Buy some tickets and go as a couple. Does your spouse enjoy craft shows, museums, art festivals or amusement parks? What are you waiting for?, buy some tickets and go! Do you often hear your partner singing or whistling a tune on the radio that they like? Find out who the artist is and buy the CD that includes the song
Communication Make time during the day to call or text message your husband or wife to let them know you are thinking about them. Don’t use that time to complain about the kids, or the in-laws, or bills piling up. Text message your husband or wife with a little naughty message in the middle of the day, with a teaser of what you have planned for the two of you once the kids are asleep in bed.
Brag to your friends, family and co-workers about how lucky you are to have found such a wonderful, loving and supportive husband or wife. Talking in front of your spouse about your partner’s good qualities is romantic; notice the way your partner’s face lights up when you speak well of them to others.
Romantic Atmosphere Make the home atmosphere as peaceful and romantic as possible. Turn off the TV. Make the dinnertime meal with the family a peaceful and calm one,
, rather than using that time to complain and gripe about how the kids upset you, or how the “honey-do list” is still untouched. Keep a ready supply of scented candles to make the home smell nice, turn on some soft romantic music and dim the lights.
Keep the home clean, toys picked up and put away, so your husband/wife doesn’t come home and wonder what you’ve been doing all day. You may have spent the entire day scrubbing floors and toilets, but none of that is likely to be noticed if your spouse is tripping over a trail of toys the moment he/she walks in the door.
Sex, Sex, Sex Baby! Make sex and romance fun in your marriage. Buy some naughty adult sex games to play when the kids are asleep.
There are many intimate games for couples available to spice up your sex life, regardless of whether you are married or not. Christian couples want and need sex in their marriage too, and by the way…, Adam and Eve had SEX, and SEX for married couples is talked about in the Bible too!
Create your own private collection of sex toys and change up the routine of when or where you have sex, because your sexual health and wellness depends on finding creative ways to spice up your marriage and your sex life!
Have a playful pillow fight, chase each other around the bedroom (if there’s enough room), turn the game of Scrabble into a striptease game. Take a romantic bubble bath together, with wine and chocolate-covered strawberries, and feed them to each other seductively.
Keeping ourselves looking nice for each other is so important. Unfortunately, over a period of time after the wedding, men and women tend to develop some complacency about keeping themselves looking nice and attractive for their spouse. It’s so important to be honest with ourselves and not become lazy when it comes to our appearance as couples.
I think something that many couples need to work on is the part about bragging about their spouse in earshot of their husband or wife. Both men and women are often guilty of criticizing their spouse with friends privately, and don’t think about how their words have an impact on how others view the spouse after that. Just last night we had dinner with a couple and it was sweet how the wife kept complimenting her husband’s cooking and other kind things he does for her. I was complimenting my husband too and his face lit up with pride. It needs to be done more often.
The reminder about touch in an established relationship I think is really important, yet it becomes so very easy to forget about. It is easy for me with my wife. It is hard to be near her without making some kind of physical contact. But I believe it is something some partners just don’t think to do. So I want to suggest that if one partner doesn’t get all of the “casual” but loving touch they want (and need), it is OK to gently ask to have more of it. I think sometimes it is just about being “reminded”.
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