How to Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship
Jealousy isn’t always a sign of weakness or insecurity. It could also be an expression of love. Understand how to deal with jealousy in a relationship which isn’t always easy to handle. It can confuse anyone into believing that the relationship is threatened.
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Jealousy is one of the biggest traps within relationships. The feeling of possession that usually accompanies love and being in love ignites jealousy, but it can sometimes become a bigger influence than the love itself. Many couples have been driven apart by an overdose of jealousy.
There isn’t much you can do, when you tend to get jealous easily, however, this emotion is not harmful by itself if you know how to deal with it. It should not be the cause of mistrust in your partner, or even of the end of your relationship. A few tips on how to deal with your jealousy, can help you out:
When you are jealous, you should not hide it. Be open to your partner about your feelings. Explain what the situation is about and find a solution together.
To communicate with your partner is essential within a relationship. You have to know what goes on in his or her head and this goes both ways. Only this way you can work together on an exaggerated form of jealousy.
Don’t jump up if your partner kisses somebody on the cheek or gives someone a compliment. A relationship should not be based on the possession of each other, but on freedom and trust.
Allow your partner to have social contact with others. Don’t be alarmed by little things. And ask same of your partner.
I met one of my best friend’s friend and started liking him & even he was very friendly to me at first and I started liking him alot & told her. I am not sure if I misunderstood or he just changed, but his behaviour changed. So, I never told him about my feelings. After, a yr my same best friend told me that she started liking him now. I was ok with it first and told her it is ok. But now it is been over 2 yrs and she told me that she still really likes him, but the guy doesn’t know it and thinks she is just one of her good friend. But all of the sudden I am having hard time dealing with her liking him. I thought about talking to her about it ,but then don’t know if it would resolve anything.. I am trying to ignore the whole situation and forget about it, but everytime she tells me she is meeting him. I get very jealous and just don’t want to be friends with her.
It seems to me as if you have been holding on to a fantasy situation for several years now… fantasy isn’t life, and if you choose fantasy over life you will end up loosing out, with life passing you by. The guy has no idea what you feel, so couldn’t act accordingly.
You avoid telling him because you are afraid of rejection, thus hang on to hope, and keep the status quo. You might be hurt if you speak to him or to your friend, but you will end up picking your self up, dusting off and carrying on with life, which is the best thing that could happen to you.
I’m in love with a friend of mine, and everyday, I can pick up something that really bugs me. Maybe someone touching her hair, just because it pisses her off, normally stuff which I tell myself ‘Thats just stupid’. But what does it mean?………….. Should I tell her I get jealous of all these things? She already knows I love her, but friends is all we’ve stayed.
Jealousy is an ugly beast, causing the person feeling it to all sorts of things that are self-defeating, and never really having any benefit.
Jealousy in relationships very nearly always results from insecurity. If you are secure in your relationship, there's very little reason to feel any jealousy. After all, what is there to be jealous of?
Insecurity in a relationship, however, can have many causes… it can be from something that your partner specifically did, something a previous partner did, or something you observed in other relationships (particularly that of your parents).
Once you determine the source of your jealousy, you should really stop to consider what the consequences of not doing anything about it could be. Jealousy has been known to destroy relationships, either by causing you to become suspicious and controlling, or by eating away at you on the inside.
If you become suspicious and controlling, that will wear away at your partner, especially if it doesn't get any better… if you treat someone like they're doing something wrong long enough, they may decide that they might as well go ahead and do it, since they're being treated as if they did, anyway.
It can also wear away at the relationship from their side… if they feel like you don't trust them, what kind of relationship do you have, anyway?
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