Detecting Married Guys
In the online dating world, it's easy to meet many new and interesting people. However, their profiles might not always tell the truth. It’s easy to write anything online including marital status, even if it is not true. It’s not a good idea to be involved with someone who is lying to themselves through infidelity or even become an accomplice to cheating. There are a few ways to find out whether or not the person you are interested in is married or not.
The easiest and most logical way to find out if they are married or not is to simply ask them. If their answers seem suspicious or give you a doubt, then you might want to be cautious as the most important thing is missing, which is trust.
Checking out public records by visiting a local office of records or even free marriage registration websites can show the status of individuals if they are married or not. While you are online, a Google or Yahoo search of their name can provide more information about if they were ever married or divorced. Nowadays, you can run your own background check right from a search engine. Check networking sites and other portals.e
Ask their family and friends if you have contact with them. It’s probably better to go to their family members first as their friends might mislead you.
See if they have any voice mails or text messages that might be from their spouse. Try checking for old photographs as well when they are not home. If they are busy during the weekends and do not have much time to meet you, this could also constitute a trace of cheating.
If the situation is a bit extreme and calls for it, you can always hire a private detective or contact the police. This of course is the most expensive way to find out if they are already married, but if they seem dangerous then you should not hesitate in contacting the police.
Of course the best way to find out is to just listen to your inner voice. If you feel that the person is going to hurt you or even hurt someone else, let go of the relationship. You will find someone better for you and well suited in the future. It’s important to find the truth, whichever method you approach him or her, and make sure they are not married. Records and websites are the only way to find a confirmed truth that they are married, but of course listen to your inner voice and go with your gut.
unfortunately, married men are not also satisfied with their monotonous life and look for adventures, they don't take into cosideration anybody's feelings except their own!
Don't expect any man to leave his spouse for you, especially if there are children involved.
I just found out the man I have been seeing is married. I called his cell and a woman answered the phone. Not sure what to do so I said I would call back later. I did not call, but in the morning there were two messages on my machine, one from him which I deleted before listening to it and one from a woman claiming to be his wife saying that he had tried to call me back and could not reach me and that he told her I had a job for her husband (he is a contractor) and gave me their home number! I refuse to take his calls or return his messages. Needless to say we are over. He told me he was divorced. I have decided not to call her, as I don't want to hurt her since she is an innocent in this. I HAD NO IDEA he was married. My question is this, should I just keep avoiding his calls and hope he does not come by my house or call him back and tell him to leave me alone. I am so hurt and angry right now, not sure what I should do.
yea if it was me id probably want him to pay and tell his wife. You dont cheat, especially on your wife(on a girlfriend is very bad but wife is horrible.). And third strike is if you decide to be that deceitful then atleast tell the other woman she is the other woman.
I would not answer the phone at all. If you do, you are opening things up for him to explain himself..and in all likelihood, it will just be a lie anyway...Let him stew. Give him absolutely no more of your time. This guy is either not very bright or wanted to get caught if he is giving out the phone number while sneaking around behind his wife.
I just ended a two year relationship with a married man. i did not know he was married until I fell hard and deep. He realized he was in this too deep and started treating me like crap. Not man enough to tell me the truth, he told mutual friends. Needless to say, I am hurting, but will survive. Why men do this, I don't know.
Trust your instincts. If you have a feeling that something is wrong, don't ignore it. Where there is smoke, there is usually fire.
OK, the wedding ring should clear up your doubts right away. Assuming the person is smart enough to take his or her ring off, though, there may still be a tan line on the ring finger.
If the person won't give you his or her phone number, but rather insists only on calling you, that should be a red light.
I agree Lillian, The same can be said if they'll only give you their cell phone or work number. If your meetings always have to be prearranged and have strict time frames, that's another bad sign.
When you go out, do you always have to go someplace far away (another town or neighborhood, for example), or does the person always want to stay in? That should set off an alarm.
Have you ever seen his or her house, or does the person always want to go to your house? Do you even know where he or she lives? In a normal dating relationship, you shouldn't have these constraints, so if you do, there's probably something wrong.
If your date's cell phone rings at the restaurant and he has to urgently flee your table to answer it, you may be tempted to wonder why.
Watch his or her reaction when you talk about family or past relationships. Usually these things come up in the course of conversation, but if you're suspicious, you may want to tactfully bring them up.
Absolutely spot on Jilly, If the person seems uncomfortable talking about such subjects, or if their body language indicates that they may be lying, your suspicions may be warranted.
Make sure you meet the person's friends. At some point, usually early, in a relationship, you should probably have occasion to meet some of the person's friends. If you don't, he may be hiding you from them. The same could be true if you meet one or two of the person's friends, but only those one or two every time.
Drive by his or her house or stop by unexpectedly. This assumes you know where the person lives, and it also assumes that you believe you have reason to be suspicious. Usually a visit to the house will quickly tell you if the person is married.
Relationships are built on trust, and it's hard to remain trustworthy yourself when you're hiring a private investigator, but if you really need answers it may be the way to go.
Don't rush to judgment. Maybe he says he has to go home early. It's possible he's going home to his wife, but it's also possible that he simply has to work early in the morning. Maybe you overhear her say "I love you" to a man on the phone. Could be her husband, but it might also be her father. Don't be afraid to ask the person if something is suspicious, but do it tactfully. If you still have your doubts, look into it, but if you care about the person, don't just assume you know what's going on.
If you feel as though there is an imbalance in the relationship, like you care about making things work more than the other person does, it could be because the other person is secure in his or her marriage and is just using you for fun. There are, of course, many other reasons why you could feel as though you're more vulnerable than the person you're dating, but it's something to think about. You also might want to consider whether you want that kind of relationship at all, regardless of whether the person is married or single.
Dating someone who is married will almost certainly lead to heartbreak. If you find out, but the person tells you that he or she is going to leave his or her spouse, keep in mind that this usually never happens. What's more, if the spouse does find out, he or she will likely be very angry, and you can't predict what he or she will do.
What he says and doesn't say. Anything you sense as secretive should set off alarms. Lovers in a developing relationship disclose more as time goes by. The married gigolo discloses up to a point and that's it.
No matter how self-confident a man is, if he's available and romancing a woman he cares about, he'll show moments of anxiety and confusion. But a married man who's dating is coasting. With the security of a wife back home, what's to stress over?
The sex is the best you've ever had. Nothing stokes a man's fire like forbidden love unless it's forbidden love that carries no threat of the "c" word.
First thing you should always do is check the deed to your guy's house. Many deeds are online. It isn't full proof. They could still be separated or divorce and the deed hasn't been changed. But if all the other red flags are there it is pretty good evidence. That's how I found out my guy was living with somebody.
I meet someone who swore up and down he was single... He would never give out his home phone, he would tell where he lived, never wanted to go out, pushed for sex very early in the relationship, he was shaddy, never would say too much about friends or family... Know who you are spending your time with before you get too involved.
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