Marriage requires work, but that work shouldn't be hard. People who consistently say "My marriage is hard, but we battle through the problems" are failing to acknowledge that there shouldn't be problems to battle through in the first place. This means something is amiss, and needs work to fix. When the underlying problems are fixed, the marriage wont be hard anymore.

don't think it's hard. It's something you need to think about every day. You make decisions with the marriage and your spouse as the focus. But once you're both on the same page, have the same level of commitment, and you adopt that "we're partners until death does us part" attitude, the rest is easy. Taking care of a relationship and a person you value is enjoyable. People make marriage hard by fighting for "me" and "my rights" and "he/ she should always see to my happiness".

I ask my husband to do or stop doing things repeatedly, and he does not listen. For example: I have a cat that he hates, and he constantly picks on him. I've been asking him to stop ever since we moved in together four years ago... And he still does it. Two weeks ago I asked him to go through his DVD collection and pick out the ones he doesn't want (he never watches any of them, and they take up a lot of space) he STILL hasn't done it, despite my asking over and over. When I tell him something is bothering me, he literally stares into space and says nothing, knowing that I will eventually stop talking... He has no respect for my opinions or needs, and I really feel like he just doesn't care, and doesn't take me seriously. I feel like what I say just doesn't matter to him, as he just does what he wants regardless. I've tried talking to him about it, and he basically ignores me. How on earth do I get him to change this behavior?

Many of these comments indicate that women need to pick their time, place and topic to coincide with the man's mood and schedule in order for the man to be most receptive. Oddly, no one -- boss, husband, child, etc. -- seems to be too concerned about approaching me or any other woman in just such a time or just such a way as to make sure I or she is most receptive to the message that is being sent. I do want my message to be received in an optimal fashion. I just wish the favor was returned, but that is not the way life works. Perhaps men should pick up on that fact as well.

Don't badmouth your spouse to your friends or associates. Spouses need to be thanked. They need to know they are appreciated.

Talking “at” instead of “with” your mate. Let his or her body language be your guide.

Tuning out — instead of tuning in — to what your mate is saying. When you mind begins to wander, stop and remember that what your partner is saying is important to him or her.

Getting defensive instead of saying, “I’m sorry.” When you mess up, the sooner you sincerely say, “I’m sorry,” or “I was wrong,” the sooner your mate can stop resenting you.

Being repeatedly late. Frequently keeping your partner waiting is not only inconsiderate, it’s arrogant.

Playing the victim. This behavior not only accuses your spouse of hurting you, but adds insult to injury by implying that he or she is doing it intentionally, when that may not be the case.

Always Having to Be Right This includes lecturing your mate, or having to have the last word. Very few people can love a know-it-all forever.

Not Walking the Talk Actions do speak louder than words. When you say you'll do something, do it. When you say you won't do something, follow through.

Being Annoying This includes continuing to have gross personal hygiene habits, or always being late, or nitpicking everything your spouse does, etc. It is when you know you are annoying and you continue to annoy.

Having Temper Tantrums Every couple needs to be able to handle conflict in a constructive way. Having an angry outburst so that you can win an argument will make you the loser in the end.

Every marriage starts with a lot of hope and dream about life long association filled with love and togetherness. But very few marriages fulfill the hopes of the participants in totality.

Marrying for the sake of love without first checking the depth of love. No denying that all relationships start with a sense of love and mutual liking. Committing to a long term relationship like marriage solely on the basis of that feeling of love is a mistake.

Getting married to make somebody else happy. Sometimes people get married to make someone else happy. It may be parents or it may be relatives. There is no problem in making someone happy if that does not jeopardize one's own marriage.

Not showing empathy. Empathy is the most important part of any relationship.. It’s the ability to recognize and share someone else’s feelings. And it’s something that, in general, women are better at than men. Rather than simply listening, though, men tend to go into fix-it mode. That’s a mistake.