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Can You Really Date After Being Divorced?

Even after being divorced and age 40, you can still absolutely continue your dating life. It isn’t even that hard to get back into it either.

 


1.Be kind to yourself Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Divorce happens. Relationships often end, yours isn’t the first that it happened to. Move on and try to find someone new to start over with and your new relationship will feel 10x better than the last one.

2.Connect with supportive girlfriends Look through your phone book and call up some of your friends. Maybe they know someone who you can meet up with. While browsing through your phone book, you might even stumble across an old ex. Why not give them a call to boost some support for you, if you left that relationship on good terms of course. Friends can be a very valuable resource so don’t overlook them when trying to start dating again.

3.Learn from your wisdom You probably made some mistakes and hopefully you have now realized what they were and how they ruined the relationship. Now, be ready and be prepared for the next one. You are now more knowledgeable and experienced with relationships so learn from it and make the next one great.

4.Have fun Who says you can’t have fun at your age? Once you start dating again, enjoy yourself and make the most out of it.

5.Don’t apologize for your past Everyone has a past and yours probably brought you more good times than bad. Don’t feel sorry or even apologize to yourself or someone new about your past and your exes. They have led you to become the man or woman you are today and who you will become. You have learned a lot from them and have shared fun memories, so don’t apologize for that.

Is being single and over 40 difficult? What are the real challenges about dating again after a divorce? Is it ever too late to quit dating?

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dec 28, 2011 | Comment (10)

Discuss

0
Alexander, 35 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

Why is a divorced woman with kids considered damaged goods? Okay, I'm young, under 30, good-looking, but I've made mistakes. Got married, divorced (he was abusive), have kids, and I couldn't get a date if I walked into an all-male prison with a hand full of pardons. It really sorta pi$$'s me off that I'm written off as damaged goods because single men don't want to deal with the whole deal of kids and an ex who has partial custody. Why is it that I'm considered damaged goods? There are lots of terrific single divorced moms who just made mistakes, but they want to date. But when single men find out about mr. ex, and the young kids, it's adios amiga.

9 replies | Hide
Rachel, 24 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

i feel your pain...but i think if we keep moving forward and living out lives engrossing in ourselves in healthy activities and doing positive things we will eventually find a good MAN...not all men are real men so they cant handle our "baggage" and some choose not to and you cant fault for not wanting to...but be positive eventually you will find someone who will be good to you..

8 replies | Hide
Dana Mc Millan, 26 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

Well it goes both ways, I'm a girl and I'd never date a guy who has kids and an ex. I tried it once and it was way too hard to deal with. You're best bet is to date a guy who's in the same situation, one who has kids and an ex. A person who's never been married or has kids naturally wants to date someone the same way, so if they ever do get married, it's be the first time for both of them.

7 replies | Hide
Rus, 35 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

The men that think you are damaged goods are shallow. There are guys (like me) out there who don't think that. You've obviously got something to offer - your ex thought enough of you to want you to be the mother of his children. As for bad decisions, we all make them. Unfortunately some of us marry ours.

6 replies | Hide
Gabriel, 35 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

I personally know my brother's friend, who is a very successful, good-looking, powerful, and cool/smart man, who chose a divorced woman with a kid as his long-term girlfriend (and believe me, he can get many women so it's not cause he can't) & i think he's even planning to marry her. she is healthy, sweet, has a career , pretty, and caring, and he loves her regardless of her past or divorce or kids. so focus on yourself babe and once you do that, a man who comes along and loves you for who you are as a person, isn't even going to look upon that as something to leave you by.

5 replies | Hide
Angie, 25 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

Dating someone who is divorced with kids is a lot for a guy to take on. Some guys aren't sure if they want kids at all, let alone take on the responsibility of someone else's kids. But I agree with you; you are not damaged goods, you just come with a few added features! But if you hold out for the right guy to come along, he will want to be with you and your kids and the ex husband won't be an issue. Also, it depends on the guys you are going after. Single, never married men with no kids will be a challenge, but I am sure if you look into other divorced men with kids, they will definitely have a more open mind. Good luck!

4 replies | Hide
Fred, 35 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

Ya know, I dare say that you are pigeon-holing men just like you think they're pigeon-holing you. I married my wife who had a son from a previous marriage, and they share custody, so it does happen. In fact, my gf of 2 years prior to my wife had 2 kids from a previous marriage and it didn't stop me from getting involved. It could be a variety of other factors. Maybe you aren't as attractive as you think. No insult intended, just sayin it is a factor, as is how well you market yourself. As a single mom, it's hard to get out and be seen as easily as it would be if you had no kids, so you aren't able to be seen as often as a single woman, therefor, you can't get picked up on as often. Know what I mean? Anyway, I'm just saying, keep the faith sister...it does happen. Good luck!

3 replies | Hide
Liam, 35 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

In many cases the goods is not her organs, it is the mind. The hurt of a man abusing her or cheating on her lends toward her treating the next man as if al were like the first. So the first time he is late or has a problem, the magic question comes out. Thinking about why the first husband left her or cheated could open the door for doubt in her. Most of the time, the first marriage is a tune up for the second. Learning the value of a quality relationship and partner. The problem of dealing X visitation, worried the X might want to clean up and come back. The perfect relationship is hard to have. Add the problems of children and an X makes it much harder. There are men who will love you for you, will be good to your children and stay with you forever. Problem is finding that person, while protecting your children from some pervert wanting your children. Be careful and do not judge all men by the one you had. I wish you all the best

2 replies | Hide
Manson, 27 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

hi im a girl but actually i have a 3 year old son and I became a single mother 2 years ago (I am 24 years now) and actually its really easy to find another guy to date. Most guys don't care that you have a past, if they like you the will like you for you. And they are sure to have a past too, maybe not kids but everyone has their own stuff. Dont worry, your young, im sure your attractive, there will be lines of guys wanting to date you. what you should worry about is making sure that the one you choose makes you happy.

1 reply | Hide
Orvil, 36 Sep 14, 2011
Reply |

Bluntly speaking, to date so soon after a marital collapse with such a young child with whom you don't have custody equals more dysfunction. Due to the fact that you married young, had a child young & are somewhat seeking further relationships is going to lead you to repeat the mistakes you made in your short lived first marriage. Not to say I am perfect, as I am not, but for obvious reasons you are not in any way ready to build a healthy relationship with a man, as you are not mentally healthy, no woman is mentally healthy after losing her daughter to her husband, if you think I am wrong then you are in denial. Dating men should be placed on the back burner till you grow up some & fix all your wrongs as a mom and as a woman. Don't take me wrong, I am not trying to disrespect you I am merely trying to get you to see that you are trying to date or get into another relationship for pure security reasons.

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