I bet no one will argue that true love has no limits or frames. And today it’s absolutely natural to have a life partner 10-20 years younger or older than you. However, having a deal with age differences you should stick to some simple rules in order to avoid misunderstanding in your relationships. Let’s look at the situation when a female partner is older than her lover.
1. If your boyfriend is younger than you, avoid calling him any slighting nicknames. Even if he is younger he is a man and doesn’t need a second mama to call him Cutie or something like that. I think you won’t also appreciate if he calls you mummy.
2. Stop constant emphasizing you age difference like “When I was kissing with my group mates on the party you were in the kindergarten.” Believe, that won’t bring a lot of good to your relationships.
3. Be prepared to feel like a foreigner while meeting his friends, colleagues or family. You were brought up on different values watching different movies and maybe reading different books.
There are thousands of happy couples with more than a decade age difference. Some of them have learned how to overcome problems caused by their age gap, but for others these difficulties become crucial steps on the way to break up.
37 Responses to “Dating and the Age Gap”
as for me, i'd never dated a woman 10 years older than me, first of all because cougars usually demonstrate their "experience" and superiority – that's not for me, thanks:)
it's much better if a man is older, I think
I'd like to say age doesn't matter, however being involved with someone 18years older than me for the past 4years it does make a difference. The values seem to be different. Also on the other hand as long as he treats you like a queen and you treat him like a king, you can't go wrong.
My grandfather's second marriage was to a woman at least 25 years younger than him. They got along splendidly, and it happens all the time. Not an issue unless you make it one.
Age itself isn't a factor in compatibility — it's elements like maturity and life experience, which tend to correlate with age, that can make or break a relationship's long-term potential. But so can future goals, background, culture, family, career, personality, and sexual chemistry.
So here's the deal.
I'm 23 and she's 38. Yes, that's a 15 year difference. I've always found myself attracted to older women (really can't stand the way 20 year old girls talk). So we've been dating for over a year now and I love her to death. She's the type of person that understands exactly what I'm thinking and feeling. We're exactly the same when it matters (both lazy asses that love laying in bed watching tv) and we're opposites when it matters (like choosing a side of the bed). We've never fought in the 1 year we've been together (this is a first for me) and I didn't get tired of her after a month (another first).
I'm 19 years old and dating a 46 year old woman, is this wrong?
My dad thinks it's disgusting because he's 41, and my mom is 37.
Um, YEAH! That's like dating your GRANDMA.
Why are you even into someone who's 46? Did she have like extreme plastic surgery so she still looks like she's 41? I mean, that's just gross, in my opinion!
In my twenties, I dated a guy who was 12 years older than me. In my thirties, I went in the other direction, dating a dude 11 years my junior. (Don't you dare call me a cougar!) Although both ended rather badly, I feel like that while the gaping age difference didn't directly cause either relationship's demise, it certainly didn't help. Mostly because I wasn't very graceful about handling it. So, learn from my mistakes. Whichever way your May/December relationship skews, there are certain pitfalls you should do your best to avoid.
I have this friend. (No really, I do.) She is young, and her man is 40-something. I think the age gap is like 12-13 years. Question is….I know there are a lot of large age gaps in dating these days – it's totally acceptable. But straight from the horse's mouth… guys and gals… how old are you and what's your max age gap when you're dating? Especially…guys…how do you feel about dating women who are a good 12-13 years younger than you? Dirty old man-ish? (haha)
I can't go out with younger guys. It's weird. And it sucks because the younger ones are sometimes SO hot!
I just ended a relationship with a 36 year old guy. (I'm 26 by the way) I maintained throughout the entire 4 month relationship, that age shouldn't matter but my conclusion now is that sadly it does. You're just on different life planes when you're from different decades. I'd probably go with 5-6 years older than me now, instead of 10.
i'm 33 and have gone 10 years in each direction. and i've met plenty of guys in their early 20s who are more mature than guys in their later 30s. and as sparklepants points out, they're sometimes SO hot! and they usually have less baggage.
As long as it's consensual, there's nothing wrong with it. If it's not a problem for either of you that she's probably far more experienced than you, and if you love each other, you should be fine. I don't see what your mother's age has to do with it, though. If your girlfriend were 20 and you had a 20 year old sister, would you compare them, too?
age is just a number, if you both are attracted to each other go for it and **** anyone who has a negatvie opinion on it – its your life, you live it how it pleases you.
My dad just married at 47 year old, he is 71 (although doesnt look it lol) and my sister/his eldest child is 46! As long as he is happy thats all that matters.
SCORED!!
as long as you like her and she likes you middle finger to what anyone else thinks and that includes your parents!
Do you think it is wrong? And she is older than your parent's.What do the two of you have in common? What are your goals in life?What are her goals? How serious do you want this to go?
Well, I'd have to put my own personal cut off at…..42? And I'm 27
I like em old(er).
Ditto KT. Any guy going for a much younger woman likely has issues. Like not being able to spout off as authority to women with equal experience (i.e., in life, work, sex).
The youngest girl I've ever dated was ten years younger than me. It was fun at first, but then you start to remember about all the stupid stuff you used to do at that age and how much beyond that you are at your current age. Maturity and age. The two things that never co-mingle.
I'm 31 and I like to say that I have a fuzzy 5 year buffer zone. I try to stay within 5 years older or younger than me, but we all know that life doesn't follow our rules sometimes and you end up falling for someone that you swore you would never be with.
i can't date younger guys, it makes me feel icky. like overly mature or something. i am also wary of dating guys just my age which is 24. 25 to 30 seems to work best in terms of being on the same wave length. my boyfriend is 29. its like the perfect difference, for me at least.
I also get grossed out when a much-older LOOKING guy tries to pick me up, even regardless of his age.
I don't feel comfortable dating anyone who is my age or younger, it doesn't do it for me. I guees my first dating experience was when i was 13 and he was 27! It was wonderful and in any other relationships after that one i need a gap of at least 4-6 years minimum.
I don't know, I think I'm pretty mature for my age. And I'm starting to feel like an old lady
I can't stay out till 3am anymore. I just can't do it.This is my opinion (I'm a big believer in the guy older than the girl): I think that in your early twenties, you should date someone around your age (but not over 30). Once you're in your late twenties, the thirties and sometimes early 40's. In your thirties, anything goes 
I attract older men and younger guys, so I'm screwed. My 5 years should be the max top-out for me. 10-13 years is too much…..their tastes in music and movies are totally different too, due to the gap in generation. I've been there done that and not going back.
Hubby is 33 and I'm 24. We are very happy and very much in love. I think our differences make our relationship great!
Any self respecting 27 year old DOES NOT date a 13 year old. That is just WRONG!
i try to stay within 4 years of my age in either direction. i'm 34. i've dated much younger (26 was the youngest recently) but i'm finding its hard to stay interested in someone when i have nothing in common with them. i get bored. thats just me though. i have a friend who is dating someone 10 years older and she is really happy…. just depends on the maturity level of each person i guess
I just ended a long relationship with a man 12 years my senior. We started dating when I was 33 and in general the age difference was not an issue. But we did come from different generations which made it funny and challenging at times.
My dad's 14 years older than my mom, but they've been together for eons now, so I don't think it was much of an issue for them. It was an issue for me, because by the time I was cognizant enough to have fun in life, my dad was too old and tired to take us on vacations or play soccer with us. I'm over that now, but I know if I ever marry and have kids, I'll try to work on a slightly smaller generation gap.
I'm 35 and my wife is going to be 27 in Dec. She's waaaaaaaaay more mature than I am, so it balances out.
I tend to date guys who are 3-4 years older. I dated a guy when I lived on Maui, who was 9 years older and he lied to me about his age. The guy after him was 6 years older and he lied even after I told him about how the guy before him lied about his age.
I've dated a guy last year who was a year younger and I'm dating someone who is 6+ months younger and I find it's difficult b/c they don't have their shit together. Maybe it's the guys that I'm attracted to- Losers!!
I actually tend to prefer women within 2 years of me. I enjoy a lot of activities that stray from the party scene and women in my age group tend to match up well with them. Let's see how well this isolates me at the various yelper events
Age and maturity often go hand in hand, but you can certainly have one without the other.
I do have one (admittedly hypocritical) rule when it comes to dating much older men. To weed out the creepsters, I always ask if they generally date women as young as me. If they make a habit of trolling for women at the local college campus, I move on. I want to be the exception, not the rule.
NONE of the guys want females older than them as their optimal mate. 90% of the guys I clicked on started their max age range at 5 years below their own age. Girls tended to go for 5 years younger and older than their age. This is the type of personal research I do when I'm bored. I'm such a nerd. My findings get even more interesting when I started looking at racial preferences…